Does Sarah Jessica Parker look like a horse?

Article by James

Now, now, Ladies and Gentlemen. I stole that line. So, it’s not mine. How horrible is that to say about someone? Do a SJP google search and that line keeps coming up. Frankly, I think it is completely untrue. Julia Roberts looks like a horse is much more accurate. A horse that is pursing its lips. Have you noticed? Imagine her shaking her head and the image will never leave you. Personally, I think SJP looks like Bette Midler’s anorexic love child. 

Style icon SJP has another movie coming out. I actually shuddered just then. Believe me people, I think Sex and The City the TV show was great. First movie too. Great writing, and great characters. Few can deny its influence on a number of levels but what is this woman doing? Between the show and the movie did you see Failure to Launch? A self-prophesising title if ever there was one. Or Did You Hear About the Morgans?, after SATC the Movie? You may have noticed I am neglecting to speak of SATC 2. I think its best. After the karaoke scene, isn’t it better to not sully the whole thing? Let us all just forget it ever existed. I still have nightmares. 

What I don’t understand is why SJP is so bad when she isn’t Carrie Bradshaw. In the past there have been lukewarm performances in LA Story, and a slightly above average performance (but still Keanu-Reeves-wooden) in First Wives Club. But even in those movies, it was definitely others that stole the show. So, apparently SJP is trying again in a new flick called I Don’t Know How She Does It (another self-prophesising title in the making). She plays a woman who is raising 2 children with her husband and she plays the only breadwinner. Is there a sex-scandal with Ferris Bueller??? Just because that’s basically her life, doesn’t mean she’ll be able to pull it off.

On a lower note, for those eager to get more sex in your city, I can’t believe the most common rumour re the SATC prequel is that Blake Lively is to play the younger Carrie Bradshaw. No one with an eye on the art of credibility would let that happen.

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